Hi gang.It's your favorite oral dentist's favorite dentist: Mel Silver, of course. It's about that time...time for my monthly homage to women working in the greatest profession to ever employ young, naive, hardbodied 19-year-olds. Barely legal, and educated only in the many ways of working a mouth. Of course I am talking about my main source of material to womanize: the dental hygienists who might be on my payroll.
This month's lovely lady first met me due to a dental crisis. She's a little older than I usually like them, but don't let that fool you. She's wild. After a raucous night guzzling booze, vacuuming up rails of coke, and losing extremely heavy gold-and-onyx earrings, this lady truly transforms into a real cougar. And I mean cougar in the sense that she snarls, hisses, and may well rip you to shreds. Especially if you pour out her hooch.
I kid. I kid. That's actually my ex-wife Jackie. The woman is the drunken scourge of my existence and she is NOT a professional in the oral sciences. She's like a rabid blonde chinchilla who smells like Poison by Christian Dior, vomit, Crystal Palace vodka, and Tic Tacs. I just figured that in the spirit of April 1st, I'd make what my son David calls "a joke." Got you. April Fool's. Ha. Ha. Ha. Don't forget to brush.
Hilariously yours,
Mel Silver, DDS
Third Best Oral Surgeon in Los Angeles
**Oops. I really fooled you. It turns out Jackie Taylor died this past year from metastatic breast cancer. Maybe I should keep better track of what's going on with the mother of my only daughter. Oh well. Plenty of fish in the sea. I better see what kind of hotties' resumés I've got on file.
